Acceptance
by kikkiclow88
Summary: Lloyd Irving wasn't sure who he was anymore. His father...it had to be a lie, right? Maybe talking with a person who understands him and was going through the same thing now could help...Oneshot, no yaoi. Rated T for language only.


NOTE: There are spoilers if you haven't gotten past the night at Altessa's event on Disc 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia. ToS belongs to Namco.

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Acceptance

_Lloyd's PoV_

Today didn't happen.

None of this…none of this is true, right? It can't be true. It's all a dream…any moment now, I'll wake up from this…this nightmare…

That moment never happened.

I keep staring at the spot he once was…there's nothing there now…Kratos, my fa—that traitor, he's gone. That bastard Mithos took him away.

I can barely see that place clearly now. It's nighttime and we're at Altessa's house, but my mind is elsewhere, in an isolated area where there is no time, no ground beneath me, just words endlessly repeating in my mind: _Kratos is your father. Kratos is your father. Kratos is your—_

I shake my head and slowly stand up. The only light comes from Professor Sage's staff as she tries to heal the fallen Altessa, and it's not very bright at all, but I can see the outlines of people surrounding me. The silhouette of Regal and Sheena are talking to a gravely injured Yuan. Presea has been gaping over the broken body of Tabatha, while Genis was crying, clutching the flute that we gave to Mithos in his hands. Zelos is nowhere to be seen. While all of this goes through my head, I'm still stuck on that incomprehensible thought.

_Kratos is your father._

"No!" I heard a voice cry out, only to realize it was my own.

"Lloyd? What's wrong?" Colette murmurs quietly while clinging to my arm. Was she there the whole time?

"I…I…" _'That bastard of a traitor can't be related to me…!'_ I raced off into the woods near the house, not knowing where I was going, not caring that my companions were yelling after me. They didn't matter. I just wanted to get away from that place…

I kept running until I was out of breath. A slow, wide river glowed, the pale moonlight reflecting on its smooth surface as it twisted and turned between the mature, gigantic trees. It produced a calming, almost melodic sound, but it didn't help me at all.

_Kratos is your father._

My Goddess, I hate those words. No—I hate _him_. He knew…the _entire freaking time_ he _knew_. How could he hold something like that back from me?? On top of that, didn't Kvar say my father killed my mother? So then, he…

I took a few deep breaths. Okay, I didn't _really_ hate him, but there's no way I can forgive him. I mean, he works for a guy who thinks that it's okay to sacrifice innocent people's lives for a "grand cause". He's been deceiving us the entire time, and I certainly can't forgive him for hurting Colette, even if he's my fa—my da—ugh, I can't even think about him like that.

The river wasn't very shallow, but it still had several large rocks with flat surfaces that rose above the water level. I began to jump across the river using the rocks, trying to calm myself. _'Acting out of anger will not solve—'_

I froze. There was something following me, hopping across the rocks like I was. A monster…?

Whipping out my sword, I turned and swung blindly at the thing behind me. Apparently I missed, because I heard an "Aah!" and a splash, and then I realized that I was attacking a person, not a monster, and that I knew whose voice that was. I looked down and saw a very wet, very ticked-off Genis, who was scowling at me from where he had fallen. Oops.

"Okay, what the heck was that for?" Genis was trying to stand up and step on the rock in front of him, only to slip again, getting himself even more wet. I laughed despite myself, causing him to glare even more intensely at me.

"Sorry, I didn't see you there. Maybe if you were taller, I would have," I said teasingly. I offered my hand to him and he took it rather grudgingly.

"Don't mock me like that! I got so worried and follow you and you just…just-"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I'm just…" My thoughts returned to that bastard Kratos, "…a little frustrated, that's all."

_Kratos is your father._

I felt my fists clench. How dare he…how dare that excuse of a fath--

"Lloyd, you're hurting my hand." Genis was trying to tug his hand out of mine. I loosened my grip and he immediately took his hand back.

"Ow…what in the worlds are you so frustrated about? Wait…is it Kratos?"

Gah, just hearing that traitor's name makes me want to punch someone. We hopped back to the edge of the river and sat down there, watching our mirror images shine by the moonlight in the water's surface. A leaf fell from a tree onto the river, causing the water to ripple and make our faces look like shattered glass.

"Yeah, it is. I mean, he betrayed us, and he knew that I was his son the entire time! What the hell is up with that?!"

Genis shivered as a cold wind brushed past us, already frigid from falling in the water. "Maybe there was a reason. Maybe there was something he needed to hide from you, or hide you from them or something like that."

I looked down at the river, watching the leaves turn our reflections into a jigsaw puzzle. "Yeah, but I want to know _why_. I want to know…" My voice trailed off when I noticed Genis was holding something in his hand.

"Hey, isn't that the flute we gave Mithos? Why do you still…" My voice stopped again when I saw tears forming in his eyes.

"Lloyd, do you not trust us? Is that why you had to run from us and hide your problems inside yourself?"

What was he…? Damn, was that really what it looked like to them?

"No, of course not! I trust all of you, I just…feel like I need to clear my head." I eyed the wooden instrument he was clutching and continued, "But what about you? Aren't you holding something back too?"

A single tear fell from his eyes and traveled down his cheek. Oh, damn it, I was in for it now.

"I-I…no."

"Genis, don't lie to me. You're thinking of that bastard Mi--"

"Don't call him that!" Genis snaps. "I know you think Mithos is bad and evil and stuff, but he's not!"

I felt anger, that same anger I felt towards Kratos creep into my voice. "Then what is he, Genis?"

"H-he's really kind and smart, and--"

"You do realize you're standing up for the guy we're fighting against, right?"

"I-I do, but--"

"You can't side with him _and_ with us. Whose side are you on?"

"Um--"

"_Whose side are you on, damn it?"_

"Lloyd, stop it!" Genis finally burst into tears, turning away from me and covering his eyes with one hand. "Please, just stop…I can't, I…"

I feel myself cringe and look down at the river, realizing how harshly I had spoken.

"Wh-what about you, huh?" he yelled, angry and saddened. "You can't choose whether to accept Kratos as your father, right? So just lay off, will you?!"

Damn, that hurt. He was right though; I didn't know if I could accept Kratos. As much as I've been complaining about him, he did help us. He trained me, taught me, and came up with intelligible plans rather than blindly rushing into battle. He taught me the importance of my exsphere, to be responsible for the crimes and lives I had taken. It's because of him that I remember why I'm on this journey of penance, and I don't want to forget that. The fact that he was helping me probably means that he maybe, just maybe cares about me, not just as a person, but as a son.

_Kratos is your father._

"Yeah…yeah, you're right. I'm sorry, I just…" I started.

"…I really shouldn't have yelled at you, it wasn't your fault. I was just…frustrated myself." He stops sobbing and let the last few drops stain his face. I run my hand across the side of his face, gently erasing the tears.

"It's okay…I guess we all get frustrated, and we all need to let it go somehow…"

"Yeah…" Genis's voice is quiet once more as my hand moves off his cheek and over to his shoulder, and I let it rest there as he continued. "Um, about what I said about you and Kratos…"

"Don't worry about it. And what I said about Mithos…I won't pressure you to make a decision. If you want to go with him, I won't stop you or hate you for it."

"…thank you, Lloyd…" Genis let his head lean on the side of my arm, I wrap my arm around his back, and we just sit there for awhile, staring at the river and the gleaming image of the moon. The gentle river had calmed, as the moon's image had become a whole picture once again.

_Kratos is your father._

Those words don't sound that bad anymore…maybe because I think he cares about me…but that isn't enough. I really do want to know why he just left me…I _will_ find out, and even if I have to chase him down to Niflheim and pin him to a wall with my swords, I'll do it. If he really does care about me…if he really _loves_ me, he'll tell me. I know he will…

I look down at my friend to ask him what he thinks, only to see him in a sleeping peacefully, clutching my arm. I guess he was really tired…we all were. I picked him up and rested him on my shoulders, his head leaning against my messy hair, and Istarted to walk back to Altessa's house. The stars above sparkled brilliantly, and among them, he…my father…he's there, in Derris-Kharlan. Somehow, I'll find him.

Just wait for me, Kratos. I swear I'll surpass you…and make you proud of your son.

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Please review! *bows*


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